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Other movies you can see on August 22/24:
- American Pie 2 (opens August 10th)
- Rush Hour 2 (opens August 3rd)
- Americas Sweethearts (opens July 20th)
- Planet of the Apes (opens July 28, 2001)
- Original Sin (opens August 3rd)
- Osmosis Jones (opens August 10th)
- Bubble Boy (opens August 24th)
- Summer Catch (opens August 24th)
Don't just take my word for it:
Watch the trailers and see how bad the movie is yourself:
The Second Internet Only Trailer
The First Internet Only Trailer
The Official Theatrical Trailer
Visit these sites and tell them how bad they suck:
These are Kevin Smith's official websites where he dishes out his information and his legions of
fans eat it up with a big spoon. Visit these sites and let them know what you really think. Let
Kevin and his fans know that there are people who think his movies are shit!
View Askew - Kevin's official site
News Askew - Kevin's official news site
Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash - Kevin's online store
Movie Poop Shoot - Website used in the film to make fun of us Internet users and
Internet movie critics.
Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2001 22:59:20 -0400
From:
To: jsbsuck@jayandsilentbobstrikeback.com
Subject: Kevin Smithhey, love the site - I don't know when it went up but I stubled across it looking for 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' stuff. I was actually a P.A. on the set back in Jan - February and I have a few stories that might interest you and anyone else who reads this webpage. The stories you've been hearing from some online media outlets (AICN) about how thngs went smoothly on the set are all lies. I know because not only did I see horrible thing happening while working, but I nearly got assualted by Kevin Smith himself on the job. I know that might sound odd after hearing some of stories about what a nice guy he is, but I know what I saw and what happened to me. It's actually a long story that I'll send you later if you'd like, along with a nice goody I got from the set before I left - maybe you or someone you know can post it.
Keep up the good work.
At first I was very skeptical - wanting to be at least a slightly decent internet journalist - I waited until I got some more facts first. As bad as Kevin's movies were - I had heard through various media reports that his sets were very laid back and that he was a very nice guy on set (perhaps a reason why they turned out so bad and James Cameron's movies turn out so good). Even more preposterous I thought was this claim that Kevin Smith tried to beat this guy up.
I mailed the PA back a day later and I think he sensed my skepticism. This is what I wrote:
Dear Disgruntled PAThanks for checking out the site. Already I've gotten e-mail from people who want to hear more - espcially about the part about Kevin Smith beating you up(?) I also have to warn you that most of the e-mails I've received were skeptical. I do want to hear your story though and I'll promise complete anonymity - as long as you can provide enough proof to back yourself about actually being on set and seeing disturbing things. (We've gotten a few e-mails from people which were obviously total lies - such as the one from a guy who said he caught Kevin Smith masturbating in the back of his comic store when Kevin wasn't even IN New Jersey but in LA filming the movie) The forum is open. Oh and please go into further detail about this 'goody' you've got.
This is what I received back:
Date: Mon, 31 Jul 2001 06:23:56 -0400
From:
To: jsbsuck@jayandsilentbobstrikeback.com
Subject: Re: Re: Kevin SmithHello,
Thanks for writing back - sorry I didn't go into further detail before. I've spend the last few days remembering the events that occurred about 6 months back when I PAed on the set and I've gotten most of it down in writing that I'll bundle off and mail you soon. I think from the details contained within - you'll soon have no doubt that I'm who I say I am. I'll send it over soon. Please feel free to post it - as long as you do so IN FULL.
As for that goody i mentioned before - it's a tape I have while I was running a video camera meant for the 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' documentary that was being shot during production. I managed to slip away with it before I left the set and I'll send it over on the condition that you don't show anything with me in it or my voice. Do you have a video capture card or anything? Maybe you can stream it or something. Send me an address and I'll mail you a copy for the site. I think some of the footage you have on there might be interesting if you can post it. Let me know.
A couple weeks later I received a VHS tape in the mail - sent in a brown padded envelope with no return address. The postmark was from Los Angeles, California. One the same day I also received an e-mail with a detailed story from the PA with detailed descriptions of what went on during his tenure on set. What follows is the complete story of the former Production Assistant and how he was unfairly fired from the set less than 3 weeks into the shoot.
Any names and footage relating to him have been removed to protect him and the others who were fired along with him. Enjoy and prepare to be shocked.
Hello,
I wanted to first of all thank you for letting me tell my story. I was surfing the web a few weeks ago and stumbled onto this site on accident. After reading through
some of pages here I thought that this may be the perfect place to tell my story in a friendly forum (rather than posting it on the View Askew message board or something).
I had been reluctant to tell this story to anyone outside my close friends as the internet climate seems to lean towards worshipping Kevin Smith - to the point where
people and noteworthy journalists will lie for him to get into his favor. Thus I was going to keep quiet
about what I'm about to tell you - mainly for job security and contractual reasons -
but seeing this site reminded me that there may be others who feel like me and would
appreciate some truth. So here goes.
I was among 5 PA's (Productions Assistants) and crew members on the Jay and Silent Bob
Strike Back set in Los Angeles who were unceromoniously fired less than halfway through
the shoot. I was a first timer on one of Kevin's sets and having heard from reports from
the media how laid back his previous sets were, I thought this would
be a fun experience. Unfortunately I was dead wrong and I'm here to tell
you and others who are not fans, that the production of this movie was not the happy go
lucky experience all the reports say it was (most of those reports coming from sponsored
sources like Wizard Managine and that moron from Aint It Cool News (I'll talk about him in
a second)). It was instead one of the most unprofessional filmmaking experiences that I
have ever been through - it pains me to see these so-called news reports from the set which
reported that Kevin Smith is a laid back director and that the atmopshere on the set is a fun
one. This is simply not true - in fact I am still appalled at the way Kevin and his crew treated
others on a movie set. Sure, at the comic conventions and film festivals he seems like a nice
guy - signing everything that is put in front of him and letting fans take photos with him.
However it's a 180 degree turn when he's on a film set and he lets people know who's boss. Let
there be no mistake about it - Kevin knows he's head of the show and lets all of us 'non-stars'
and 'lesser' crew members know about it. One of the worst incidents occurred early into the shoot - Kevin sent me to craft services for a bottle of YooHoo - his favorite chocolate drink.
His love for the stuff is legendary on other sets I hear. We were filming indoors
at the monkey lab set in Valencia and that day the supply had run out and all the craft services
table had was Hersheys. Thinking that chocolate milk was chocolate milk - I grabbed it and rushed
it back - taking no more than 3 minutes to get it to him. As I quietly handed it to him while he
was watching playback - he turned to me and out of nowhere berated me for taking so long to get it
to him. Then he looked at the bottle and when he noticed that it was a Hershey's and NOT a YooHoo -
his face turned a bearded beet red and he managed to seeth out a single question -
he asked me if "I could read." This caught me way off guard and I stood there silently for a minute -
wondering if he was joking with me or not (a la Joe Pesci in 'Goodfellas'). As I began to answer he began asking me over and over "What
I did I ask you to get me... what did I ask you to get me huh?" He then shoved the bottle mere millimeters
from my face - label side up and said, "Does this LOOK like a YooHoo?!" I was so shocked at this point that
all I could manage out a weak "No, sir". This was no joke I realized. Kevin was not busting my balls.
The whole crew was staring at this point and I was feeling very embarrased
- even though I had not done anything wrong. Kevin then got up in my face and flat out yelled right in my face,
"GO GET ME A YOOHOO!." Not wanting to anger him any more - I quickly turned and left and as I did, I felt
something whiz by my ear and smash on the floor in front of me. It was the chocolate bottle and
he had tried to throw it at my head!! Read those closely again - Kevin had tried to hit me in the head with a bottle.
Unbelievable!! In most places that would be grounds for an assault charge. I was so shocked and disoriented that I could do nothing but run out
of there. More unbelievable still was that after this incident had
occurred, Kevin and his cronies Scott Mosier, Monica Hampton and Malcolm Ingram had the nerve to point and laugh
at me as I left. Unbelievable.
The aftermath of this is that I went back to the craft services table and told them what happened. The person
working there (who will remain anonymous) just shook their head and sighed - like it had happened many times before.
Long story short - someone was sent out to a supermarket to pick up a supply of YooHoo and I was able to correct my
'mistake'. I delivered the correct order to Kevin and he acted
like nothing had happened.
I did ponder the assualt charge briefly as I reran the incident through my head the next morning - but decided that the lack of witnesses on my side
and my job security prevented any chance of anything really happening. Plus this is Hollywood - no one believes a lowly PA over a famous
director.
The biggest bit of unprofessionalism that occured on the set - and the one that ultimately got me fired -
was the fact that Kevin INSISTS on having his friends hang out on the set. These are friends who have NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE MOVIE and in fact sit around all day on set doing nothing but chat with Kevin, stealing snacks off OUR CRAFT
SERVICES TABLE and stealing our lunches and dinners during mealtimes. It got to the ridiculous point where at times
there were more of Kevin's friends hanging around than crew members. Not only did they take up space and food, but
they were distracting to the point of getting in the way of production. There were SEVERAL times when his friends would
wander around HOT sets. I caught several of them actually moving props around and when I politely told them that it
was a hot set and to please leave the area - they would always laugh at me, acting like they owned the place.
It wasn't until I got several more people to back me up until they would finally leave (usually the aforementioned 4 other
crew members who got shitcanned along with me). Once I even caught one of these friends STEALING PROPS. Unbelieveable.
Most of the times the distractions occured simply because Kevin's friend's couldn't keep their mouths shut - I had to
constantly remind them that we were doing live takes and that
absolute quiet was needed - their usual reaction was to roll their eyes at me - I could see exactly what they were
thinking - they were a friend of Kevin's and they were immune to showing anyone else any kind of respect. Least of all a PA.
Most of Kevin's friends would come and go when they were in town or when the shoots didn't run too early. There were a
couple of idiots who stuck around for the ENTIRE shoot (as long as I was there anyway) and did nothing but distract us
and the production. The second most annoying being the idiot who insisted we call him "Mysterio" who was out "reporting" for
Aint-It-Cool-News. Reading his reports - you'd think he
had a grand old time hanging out on set every day - of course he did! Mainly because he spent most of his time bugging the
cast and crew - asking them stupid questions, telling them (and us) his hard luck stories about how he almost became a
filmmaker but decided to report on films instead, and talking our ears off about how he couldn't wait until Kevin shot his
next movie so he could come out again. The funniest thing though was the fact that this kid ate like there was no tomorrow - constantly cleaning out the
craft services table and eating platefulls of food during mealtimes. I even caught him once taking food home. I swear this guy just came on set to get
free meals. This fact alone made him a joke to the crewmembers on set as most of them just assumed he was yet another friend of Kevin's who had come to hang out.
I however was treated to aformentioned incessant babbling about how he was on the clock for Harry Knowles. The funny thing was he even had the nerve to constantly complain about how Harry Knowles wasn't paying
him for his gig and how much work and hours he was putting into his horrible weekly reports from the set (yes I read them to see what kind of positive spin he
would come up with week after week). His reports may
have pleased the fans, but he was nothing but a pain on set. Truth be told however - he was catered to and his reports show that.
This was nothing however next to what a pain Kevin's friend Malcolm Ingram was. For those of you who aren't familiar with Malcolm Ingram,
he's a friend that kevin picked up during 'Mallrats' and he's also a fellow 'filmmaker' with such big screen hits as
'Drawing Flies' and 'Tail Lights Fade'. I now know all about these flicks because he wouldn't shut up about them - even
during takes. Malcolm was on set under the guise of filming a documentary that is supposedly going on the DVD - let me tell you
right now that I can't wait to see this thing if it ever gets put together (they told me that Malcolm was also in chrage of editing it - good luck).
Malcolm started out as a nice enough guy (besides the incessant talking about
his previous filmmaking experiences) only slightly getting in the way of production and occasionaly ruining sound with his loud, boisterous voice and
inappropriate jokes during takes. It wasn't
until later into production when the REAL Malcolm came out. As things settled in LA, Malcolm was known to head out to hot spots
at night and get wasted to the point where he'd come in very very hungover and very very cranky and surly the next day - usually hours after
call time. He would yell at
crew members if they got into his shots when he was in this state (me included) and had the tendency to bump into lighting
setups, craft service tables and his feet seemed to find every cable that was on the ground as he hit those as well - clumsily stumbling over them constantly.
I later found out about the sudden clumsyness. He was drunk and began coming on set drunk
nearly every other day. Then he stopped coming in regularly at all - leaving documentary duties to crew members of Kevin's
wife and actress Jennifer.
Speaking of the documentary footage - I saw some of the footage during a couple days where Malcolm was having us log some of it - it was hilarious to see Malcolm's
degradation from a documentarian into a frat-boy level drunk. His footage started out steady as a rock and progressively degraded into shots that became more and more
unsteady as we watched each DV tape in order. That got a lot of laughs fron us who had seen his progress on a daily basis.
The final straw came mid-way through the shoot as we were doing a scene in the animal lab set in February. I was asked to go in
and clear the set and check that all the lighting in the fake cages were properly lit. As I walked in there - I noticed 3 people
I didn't recognize wandering around in there - talking loudly, picking up props and taking pictures. I did my job as instructed and politely asked
them to leave and to please refrain from taking any pictures (lest they wind up on some internet news site). They took a look at me
and continued on. I went and grabbed a few other crew members/pa's to help me escort them out.
When they saw that they were outnumbered - they reluctantly left.
I later caught them whining to Kevin near his trailer about how they were treated badly by a PA - the next day I and and the 4 other crew members who had helped me were
gathered and told that were fired. Their explanation was that "thing's weren't working out" and that "it was nothing personal." We were told that if
we kept quiet about our exit that other work would be found for us on another production - which was a relief for me because
I had rent and car payments due. So I kept quiet. Later I found out from another crewmember who stayed on set for the shoot that they were told we left because
we were needed elsewhere. Bullshit.
At the present time - I now have steady work and am no longer afraid to reveal the real goings on to you - I will remain anonymous,
but from these descriptions it probably won't be too hard to figure out who I am. As a one last FU to Kevin however - I'm sending
over a DV tape I was asked to run while we were filming - It was one of those days that Malcolm was "sick" and I was asked to to
fill in and take shots of stuff being filmed. I figure a few of these clips might be enough to spoil a few things.
Thanks for letting me tell my story.
Comments? Questions about the cause? Please e-mail me at: jsbsuck@jayandsilentbobstrikeback.com